Wow, today has been a hard day so far! 😪

Meltdowns from both children. One over a nappy change and the other because of the noise from the initial meltdown. The first meltdown lasted for almost an hour! I’ve been kicked, shouted and screamed at…

I was told by somebody a while ago that they wouldn’t tolerate being hit and maybe the children would benefit from being hit back!

I don’t believe violence teaches anything, and I don’t see how violence is effective when dealing with violence, for the hypocrisy value alone. I think I am being asked to rule by fear! I don’t believe in that either. Even if I did…these people clearly haven’t raised children with additional needs.

My eldest, for example, has no concept despite the repeated conversations and role play.

When they are having meltdowns, they both present differently. My eldest has utter loss of control and looks confused, almost upset and forlorn. He throws himself around as though he just doesn’t know what to do with himself and hits out at me.

My youngest is just so extreme. He gets incredibly angry and throws or kicks things. He shouts and continues to the point that he sobs and doesn’t know how to come down. His tend to go on for around an hour so it’s pretty hard to deal with.

Feeling a bit broken.

Also feeling conscious that I’m making them sound terrible, when in fact they are not. They have clear boundaries and consequences in place, and on the most part they are just a joy to be around. Everybody comments on how polite and well behaved they are…but when something triggers them…my goodness…

4 Replies to “Meltdowns”

  1. Hey, thanks for the follow😊I have an autistic brother and when he has meltdowns that are quite bad I give him a bear hug (preferably from behind) and we sit until the storm has passed. I know sometimes this can’t always be done, but just thought I might share this with you x

      1. My dad puts one arm around and holds him so his head goes into his chest, so that the child can hear the heart – it’s supposed to calm him, whether or not it does or not I don’t know but the hug calms him (sometimes). Bless him!

        1. It’s so funny you mention that. I used to find that worked when he was a baby. Sadly no more for me, but so pleased it works for your dad. I guess the main thing is for them to feel safe and secure, and loved. I was having this discussion with somebody yesterday. Her little one is still so small but posing some challenging behaviour, and it’s not always easy to know how to handle it. I remember when mine were little I read an article where a parent held their child close and practised deep breathing, and apparently the child mimicked it. I’m not sure my children wound up adopting the rhythm of my breathing but it did seem to calm them. X

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