This is a longer recording, but I believe worth a listen. Here, we discuss PDA, as well as our own experiences:
People with the profile of PDA can often come across as angry when in fact they are vulnerable, and experiencing high anxiety.
Their tone of voice and general demeanour does not communicate this, so they are misunderstood, and treated with annoyance and impatience.
They are perceived as possessing anger problems, being purposely defiant, or being aggressive. From my reading and interactions with people who fit the PDA profile, it is my opinion that these behaviours are not innate: so nurture rather than nature.
ASD strategies do not tend to work for people who fall under the profile of PDA.
It is crucial, therefore, that this is identified correctly, so adequate interventions and approaches can be adopted, with a view to reducing anxiety and helping the individual to feel safe, secure and understood.
People with PDA can experience mental health issues as a result of their treatment, and grow up with low self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness.
It takes a lot of patience and support to help these individuals, particularly once the damage is done.
I’m having a really bad day today, emotionally. I’m not writing this for attention, but to explain why this blog is so important to me.
I am looping on failed interactions and past injustices a lot. This includes online ones. My online persona has got me into a lot of trouble. People don’t always like what I say and perceive me as confrontational. I do understand how I can come across like this…but it’s never my intention. I’m just very passionate and sometimes I’m so fixated on a subject, that’s all I see. I don’t see how it might offend somebody. But then…the damage is done…and there are always consequences.
Despite how lucky I feel to have my children, my husband, my family, my friends and all the creature comforts we have, days like today are more common than I would like. And I struggle to control them.
Every human being experiences this, but many of my ‘loops of negativity’ come from things that are absolutely related to being autistic. I am proud of who I am, but I just wish I could have known who I was a lot earlier, as I’m sure many of these issues would have never come about, or I could have at least explained myself better.
I can tell somebody I’m autistic now, but the opinion they have of me has already been formed, and there’s nothing I can do about it. But what I can do, is try to share my experiences so that other people like me may identify similarities and recognise who they are a lot earlier.
I’m not sure if this makes sense at all, partly because I am trying to write this whilst being overloaded with auditory input from my children, but I’m not using this space just to rant aimlessly. I want so badly to help other people.
Maybe I can help somebody better understand their child or loved one. Maybe I can help a teacher understand their student. Maybe a young girl will resonate with what I say, and seek help earlier in life. Maybe that will prevent her from going through what I have been through.
As you know, I think being autistic is awesome, in so many ways, but our differences do cause us problems. I hate appearing weak or somehow painting myself, and others like me, as ‘mental’ which is how some people perceive autism. But the fact is, our interactions with the world can create huge anxiety and upset.
I don’t believe we should be forcing autistic people to ‘become more neurotypical’ and I feel that masking is so damaging.
However, I’m a realist and although I’d love for things to be different, currently they aren’t. So for now, we need to support autistic people in any way we can, so they don’t grow up feeling like, well, me!
I want to make it clear that for the most part, I am positive and happy with so many aspects of my life, but there are things that affect me, and probably always will. I just need to be a bit kinder to myself and realise that it’s ok to feel like this sometimes. I give so much advice to others that I almost feel I shouldn’t have these vulnerable moments, but I’m only human.
I will always use this platform to advocate for autistic rights and equality in society, and hope that a time comes when this is truly embraced.
Thank you for reading and following this page. So many of you feel like part of the page rather than followers, and I appreciate you more than you know. It’s humbling that other people take the time to read and share content, interact with posts and share their own experiences.
Wishing you all the best weekend!
We have had a very eventful couple of days, and lots of family time together over Christmas and New Year. My husband and eldest child are back to work and school tomorrow and I feel a little sad. It has been so lovely though, so when I get a chance I’ll update you with what’s been going on. Well, some of it as there is so much to remember. I would love to know what you’ve been up to? Are you already back at work/school, or is that looming for you this week as well? Are you excited about getting back to some routine or are you feeling a little bit blue?
I love these…
Like my son, I was a bit of a ‘fluctuator’ as a child, but usually fit into the sensitive category.