I’m Sorry

I’ve just come downstairs after bed routine and wanted to share this…

After I had read the book we chose, my eldest looked at me and said sorry. I asked why and he mumbled something. I asked him to repeat it and his voice went quiet and shaky. He got emotional and I couldn’t hear all of the words, but I did hear him say I’m sorry for hitting you, and I love you.

I showered him with hugs and kisses and explained that I was sad he had hit me, but that I understood he finds it hard when he gets upset. I told him that I am so proud of him, that he is the sweetest, loveliest little boy and that we love him so much. Daddy said the same.

It reminded me of something I forgot to mention about the journey home. Once his meltdown had passed, he kept randomly hugging me and kissing my hand. He does this a lot. Like he is so overwhelmed with love, and just feels compelled to show it. It’s almost like he feels grateful you are still there. I will always be there! Always!

I know some people believe the children are being naughty and need to be punished through smacking, fear etc, but if you can ride out the meltdowns/difficult episodes with understanding and patience, it is so much better for all parties in the long run. That doesn’t take away how hard this is in the moment, and how much easier it is to say this than to do it.

If we were to be impatient, physical etc…I believe he would spend more time dwelling on this treatment rather than being able to see that we are there for him through thick and thin. And, despite the frustrations we face as adults in these scenarios, I believe it is so much harder for the child. They are helpless and powerless. Vulnerable. We need to model the behaviour we expect.

I am proud that my son feels secure and safe with me. I believe that giving him the space and time he needs is enabling him to explore his emotions and reflect on his actions. Obviously, from the beginning we have had to teach him the language etc, like with any child, but it is in there and he is drawing on everything he has learned.

I have to keep remembering that although life is tricky right now…it won’t always be this way. We are building the foundations for what is hopefully going to form a confident, successful young man, with whom we will share a special bond.

Empathy

For those people who think that autistic people can’t be empathetic…

Yesterday we bumped into one of my mum’s friends. She gave the children £1 each. We went to the shop to spend the money but upon learning that the man outside selling The Big Issue was homeless, he handed over his pound with a huge smile on his face.

I explained his pound was now gone and he couldn’t buy anything with it, then asked him why he gave his pound to the gentleman. He replied, “So he can buy a new house!”

He was so happy. And I felt so proud.

He has obviously been taught compassion, empathy and kindness, as any child should, but so many people have the misconception that ASD children lack these qualities.

All people are different, and this is all he has known. He is so loving, sensitive and affectionate! And just beautiful inside and out! 😍🥰

Crayon

This book is really lovely. It appears quite simple when you first look at it but there are lots of opportunities to discuss how the characters are feeling and what’s going on in the pictures. Also good for prediction skills and colour recognition. The children love it. Last night Nanny was here. She has worked in the field of SEN for years and is brilliant at sign language, so she taught us how to sign the colours.

Crayon by Simon Rickerty